Lewis is still six Lewis is still six Lewis is still six Thank God. Next month he will be seven. He still wants to sit on my lap He still wants to sit on my lap He still wants to sit on my lap Thank God. Next month he might

The app wasn't working. Two lifeguards (who were essentially children) stood behind the counter. The first told us to write our names on a paper form while the other read a book. Behind me, I overheard kids trying to buy snacks with two dollars. The floor was wet.

The text I sent to fifteen friends and neighbors last night at 4:38pm: --THIS IS A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT.-- In exactly 82 minutes, we will roast S'MORES on our driveway. The marshmallows are the largest I've ever seen. This opportunity is only available between

My wife told me that lobsters never stop growing. Scientists call this indeterminate growth. Lobsters grow through molting; they shed their hard exoskeleton, leaving them as an exposed lump of jello before eventually hardening again. Around 10 to 15% of lobsters die in this process. Either they can't

Last week was my first week without a job. Here's a list of my activities: * Went to the pool with my family (twice) * Late-night beer with a friend * Took a nap (twice) * Helped my three-year-old defeat the final potty training boss * Took said three-year-old to Scheel's